


Road Trip

by Illiteracy_is_for_woozles



Series: The Future Is History [5]
Category: Captain America (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Family, Family Bonding, Family Feels, Gen, Implied/Referenced Suicide, Mental Health Issues, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Road Trips, Snowmen, Steve Rogers Feels, Steve Rogers Has PTSD, Steve Rogers Needs a Hug, Steve Rogers' Bad Mental Health, Suicidal Thoughts, grand canyon - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-24
Updated: 2018-12-24
Packaged: 2019-09-25 19:34:34
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 2,305
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17127437
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Illiteracy_is_for_woozles/pseuds/Illiteracy_is_for_woozles
Summary: The Great Rogers Family Road Trip of 2017.The family has some bonding, and everybody deals with their horrible mental health."We need never be hopeless because we cannot be irreparably broken." - John Green, Looking for AlaskaSet after the events of Pt. 1 - One Day At A Time





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I really hate that book, but the quote fit.
> 
> Just a few notes on all of these mini-stories.  
> Firstly, these aren't all necessarily stories; they're more of character studies. Some of them will be multi-chapter, others will be one-shots.
> 
> The reason I'm writing these is because Marvel does a crap job with their characters actually dealing with their mental health and I was sick of people ignoring glaringly obvious problems. (This one mentions Steve's suicidal tendencies)
> 
> Please, read the tags. Ya'll are grown and can make your own decisions, but try to make smart ones.

**_December 10th, 2017_ **

Steve handed the plate to Grant for him to dry.

Billie Holiday played in the background, the only other sound being the gentle splashing of the water as they did the dishes.  
There was a perfectly good dishwasher, but Steve liked the repetition and the boys had volunteered to help after breakfast. Steve washed, Grant dried, and Teigen put away anything that wasn’t so high up that he would need a chair. (Which, if they were being honest, meant that the eight year old mostly just stacked them together on the counter for Sarah to put away)

After Grant dried the last dish and handed it off, he tossed the dish towel over his shoulder and started helping his sister put things on the higher shelves.

Steve rung out the dishrag and laid it across the divider of the two-sided sink to dry.

“Did you guys have anything you wanted to _do_ before you start school?” He signed as he spoke. They hadn’t asked for anything since the rescue op and he wanted to make sure that he was doing this whole parenting thing correctly. Kids were supposed to enjoy doing activities, right?

Grant shrugged as he put a glass in the cupboard.

 _“We haven’t really been able to go anywhere that wasn’t a job,”_ Teigen signed. _“I’m not sure what we could do in the little time we have.”_

Sarah nodded, agreeing with her brother’s statement.

“How about a road trip, then?” Steve suggested. “You don’t start for another three weeks so that would give us plenty of time to go somewhere, have a little fun, and come home with time to spare.”

Grant crossed his arms.

“Where would we go?”

“I dunno.” He wracked his brain, searching for something. “Have you ever been to the Grand Canyon?”

Sarah smirked, but Teigen held his hand up to stop her from explaining.

_“Sarah went on a school trip one summer, but Grant and I haven’t.”_

Grant shrugged again.

“I guess it could be fun. I’ve always liked road trips.”

“Last time I went, we got to camp there,” Sarah suggested. “I’d love to do that again.”

Steve grinned.

“Great. We’ll leave tomorrow morning.”

  
  


Steve double-checked that he had everything. The maps he’d printed off and the campground reservation information were tucked into the passenger seat’s visor, the cooler on the floor in the back seat was stocked with water and gatorade, there was a backpack full of granola bars and fresh fruit.

He’d made sure to pack the trunk of the sedan the night before, Bucky double-checking their gear so Steve didn’t accidentally forget the tent or sleeping bags. (It had happened in France at one point, and those were some miserable few weeks even without the shooting)

The boys came out, groggy-eyed and sleepy from the early hour. They tossed their backpacks in their seats, Grant mumbling a good morning to his father as they passed.

Sarah bounded out the door, apparently the only one of them with any real energy.

“Morning,” she chirped.

Grant groaned.

Steve chuckled as he slid into the driver’s seat and started the car.

They drove for a few hours before stopping at a little diner off the side of the road for the juiciest burgers they had ever had in their lives. (They’d have to remember this place)

After lunch, the boys decided that they were going to build a snowman out in the parking lot where the snow had been piled high by the employees in an effort to keep the rest of the parking lot clear for their customers.

Steve sipped his coffee, trying to soak up as much warmth as he could. He _hated_ being cold. (For entirely obvious and understandable reasons)

Sarah shook her head, hiding a sly smile by taking a sip of her milkshake.

“How can you eat that in this weather?”

“I always run a little hot.” She shrugged. “Plus it’s comforting.”

Steve set his mug on the table, silently asking her to continue.

“In the cages, they didn’t give us anything hot or cold; it was always room-temperature and bland.” She stirred her straw around in the cream, looking melancholy. “And before that, we didn’t get much ice cream, so I guess it’s just a reminder that we’re safe and happy without the need to only keep food that we can pack up and leave with.”

Steve nodded at her musings. Those little things meant so much more when you’d been without; they were a touchstone to reality and the knowledge that you were _safe_.

“I’m going to go get the boys so they can warm up before we leave.”

He watched his daughter leave, trying to convince himself that it wasn’t his fault.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nightmares and traffic.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here's the suicide mention. It's quick and very minor, but it's there.

Steve woke drenched in his own sweat. He’d fallen out of his bed and hit the floor of his motel room, legs trapped in the sheet.

He could still feel the cold heat of the ice entrapping him and the mute horror of being a prisoner in his own body.

Steve disentangled himself with shaky hands and ran a hand across his face and through his soggy hair, just sitting there for a moment to catch his breath. The clock, which was on the floor for some reason, said that it was a little after two.

It’d been a few weeks since his last bad nightmare, so he guessed he was overdue and his brain was making up for lost time.

Still feeling green around the gills, the traumatized supersoldier stood and grabbed his coat. He walked out onto the front walkway of the motel in his bare feet and leaned on the railing, sucking in a lungful of icy cold air. He looked down. 

Three floors up. If he landed right (or really, really wrong) he might not survive.

Steve shook his head, trying to dispel the intrusive thought. Nothing good came from thinking things like that. And the last time he actually  _ went along  _ with one of them, he ended up being frozen for seventy years.

A door opened behind him, revealing Grant in his sweatpants and coat. He looked tired and haunted. Steve knew that he couldn’t look much better.

“What're you doing up?”

He shrugged. (Always with the shrugging)

“Probably the same reason as you.” His voice wasn’t a whisper, but it was soft and low.

He sat on the concrete, dangling his legs over the edge between the bars. Steve joined his son, the two sitting in silence for a few moments.

“You had nightmares sometimes.” Grant kept looking over the horizon. “Not often, but enough for us to know.”

He nodded.

“I’d expected as much.” There were certain things you didn’t just  _ get over. _

He nudged the boy with his elbow.

“What about you? These new?”

Grant huffed out a laugh.

“Yeah, these are new.” He picked at a loose thread on his pants.

Steve cocked his head to the side.

“Why didn’t you say anything?”

The twelve year old rolled his eyes and started counting off on his fingers.

“We’ve been playing chess with the media, then there was the Asgard thing that everyone was worried about, you’re still adjusting to us and have your own problems to take care of.” Grant’s voice had risen to his normal speaking volume, but he caught himself and quieted back down. “And on top of that, I know Teigen needs protecting and Sarah’s got her own stress.”

Steve shook his head. Of course at least one of his kids would inherit that self-sacrificing selfishness from him.

“I get it, I really do,” he began carefully. “But you can’t just hide your problems away because you don’t want to bother anyone with them.”

“Then why do you?”

He opened his mouth to answer, but shut it when he realized that he didn’t really have an answer.

“Bucky would say that it’s because I’m an idiot.”

Grant laughed.

“Yeah, well, Uncle Buck does the same thing, too, so he can’t really be all that much smarter.”

Steve couldn’t help but smile at that.

“I’ll tell you what, how about we both work on talking to someone about our problems and then we gang up on Bucky?”

Grant smiled and agreed.

  
  
  


The cars were parked bumper to bumper along the highway.

Steve rolled his eyes at the honking. It didn’t matter if you were in Oklahoma or New York, people would always be impatient. (And it was December, so they should’ve known it would be packed)

Grant had dozed off about a mile back, but his siblings were wide awake and getting antsy. Sarah kept smoking and patting her shoulder and head to put out the flames that kept sparking to life. (She was the most impatient person Steve had ever met. He had the lowered windows to prove it)

His cell rang, vibrating in his pocket. He frowned as he finagled it out of his pocket. He’d gotten texts off and on from his teammates, but no one had actually called.

“Rogers.” He caught a frown from Sarah, a question in her eyes.

“Hey, Cap.” The SHIELD assignment officer sounded apologetic, but in a flat, polite-for-the-sake-of-propriety way. “We’ve got a job for you.”

He continued to give a brief summary of the assignment, but Steve recognized a USO show when he saw one. This was more of a morale booster and he was entirely unnecessary.

He looked in the rearview mirror. Grant had woken and he and his brother were watching their father expectantly.

“I’m sorry, sir.” Steve smiled at his kids as he answered the agent. “I’m retired. Unless there’s another alien invasion or other world-ending event, don’t call me.”

The agent sputtered, but mumbled an acquiescence.

“Is Friexa still with you? She’s the kind of person you want for this job.”

The agent said he’d look into seeing if she was still around and hung up, obviously upset that Captain America wouldn’t be making an appearance at the raid.

Steve slid the phone back in his pocket.

“Why don’t you see if you can find a detour?”

Sarah smiled and obeyed.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> They lose someone...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Very short chapter, but it works.

They made it to the national park in decent time, setting up their tents at the North Rim’s campground.

Steve was glad for the lantern (probably added by Bucky, because he had no memory of packing it) as they assembled their tents in the dark.

Grant read the instructions, fighting back laughter as he watched his father struggle to figure out what pole went where. (Steve swore that everything had gotten harder to put together since the 40s)

The next morning they’d decided to start hiking, starting in the visitor’s center to learn the history of the park and get suggestions for trails from the center’s curators.

The center was much busier than Steve thought it would be this time of year, but they made it through the crowd alright.

The viewing room captured everyone’s attention. There were large windows along one wall, showing a variety of plants and bird feeders to attract the local wildlife.   
Next to the windows was a beehive in a hollowed trunk that had been cut open and covered with a piece of plexi-glass. It housed a beehive, with an exit cut into the outer wall where the bees could come and go as they pleased. Sarah was enraptured with the complexity of the hive.

Steve looked to see if the boys were having a good time, but only saw Grant.

“Where’s Teigen?” Steve spun in a circle, looking over the heads of the other visitors in an effort to find the boy.

The elder two shared a panicked look before following their father as he marched through the crowd.

Steve felt his heart race in a way that he’d never experienced and his stomach flip.

Calling out wouldn’t do any good, he knew that. He’d just been  _ right there _ and suddenly he was just gone.

Grant tugged his arm in the direction of the information desk.

_ At least one of us is thinking clearly _ , Steve thought wryly.

As they neared, he could see Teigen with a woman, her hand on his shoulder. She had two young children with her, a toddler in a stroller and a boy around Teigen’s age. She was animatedly talking to one of the park rangers. Teigen’s sketchbook sat on the help desk between them, a clearly written message on it:

_ Lost family. Need help. _

Teigen’s head perked up when he caught sight of his family and he waved with a smile.

Both women looked over at that, relief etched into both their faces.

The ranger had that spark of recognition in her eyes, but Steve ignored it in favor of kneeling down and pulling his son into a hug.

“ _ Are you alright? _ ” he signed.

The boy looked sheepish as his siblings pulled him into their own hugs.

_ “I was distracted by the bat exhibit. Couldn’t find you, so I found a lady with kids like I was told to.” _ He hung his head, looking up between his lashes.  _ “I’m sorry.” _

Steve huffed out a laugh, shaking his head in exasperation.

_ “We’re going to have to get a leash for you,”  _ he joked.

Steve stood and shook the two women’s hands in turn.

“Thank you so much.”

The mother shrugged.

“I’ve got a runaway, too.” She gestured to her eldest. She waving to Teigen and began herding her young ones off.

The silent ranger opened her mouth, pure hero worship in her eyes, before she shut it and schooled her expression to a more professional one before turned to Teigen.

_ “Stay closer to your family when you’re in a busy or new place,”  _ she signed.

Teigen nodded and the woman left.

Steve slowly blew a lungful of air out.

“Okay, I think that’s enough adventure for one day.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am always excited to get kudos and comments. (Seriously. They tell me what I'm doing right and wrong)

**Author's Note:**

> The rest will be out soon, I'm just trying to write them all.


End file.
